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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She creates vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend helping her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that values the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, giving her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we create together can achieve: an opening. I understand not everyone likes being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal videographer, but friends help each other in small ways. My assumption was recording a clip now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She needs to respect Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some authentic experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?